I was very disappointed in myself today. I have only been a FUSE volunteer for a couple of weeks and I already skipped a day. In my defense, I had absolutely no way of getting there. I had no money and no gas. That sort of put a damper on my ability. On the other hand, I still don't feel right about not going. I feel like I let God and myself down. I've been feeling like that a lot lately. Like I've let God down. I can feel Him trying to trust me with more things, but I just don't trust myself with them. Maybe that comes from a lifetime of feeling like I am not good enough, but it could also come from knowing I may fail. That's why I don't like the unknown. Fear of failure. I'd much rather do things that I know I can do, rather than try something without knowing what to expect. I hate being out of my comfort zone. It's like trying to walk around all day with your shoes on the wrong feet. You can still take each step, but it's always a struggle and you never know when you might trip or develop a pretty nasty blister. Even so, those shoes can still get you where you need to go. I feel like God has given me a pair of shoes that I have never worn before. They don't fit very well, but I can squeeze into them if I try. I know I need to walk around in them and break them in, but the process is so uncomfortable. I just need to do it. I'm sure Jesus wasn't comfortable with his fate, but He knew it had to be done. I have to realize that God wants me to have purpose, not comfort. So here's where I have to do something about it. I have to suck up the blisters, stick on a band-aid, and keep walking.