Expectations are my biggest enemies lately. They are double-edged swords that will cut you no matter which direction they hit you from. If you have expectations, they don't get met. If someone has them for you, you fail to meet them. Either way, you are left feeling disappointed, hurt, pressured, etc. All of my disappointments have risen from failed expectations. You expect someone to be there for you and they're not. You are anticipating a certain response from someone only to receive another. You look forward to a big day that doesn't quite turn out how you wanted it. If we didn't have expectations in the first place, there would be no disappointment. We would simply take things as they come and accept things for what they are. Why can't we all see life that way? It would be so much easier. It used to be that I struggled with my expectations of others, but I have recently learned to control them. Now I struggle from others' expectations of me. I am only one person. I go to school 2 1/2 hours from both homes, I attend classes and study all day, I work, and when I come home that's another story. I have 2-3 days to see both sets of parents, several friends, and have some sort of "break" by myself. Well, that never happens. I'm not even sure what a "break" or a "vacation" feels like anymore. I spend my time "off" traveling around Irmo, Columbia, Lexington, etc. just to satisfy expectations. What I've come to realize, however, is that none of them ever really get satisfied. They still exist no matter what I try to do, and I can never meet them. That puts such a tremendous amount of pressure on me that I feel I may explode with guilt. When will it just stop? When will they just realize that I am only a college student trying to juggle way too many things at once? It's only a matter of time until I drop everything and am left empty-handed. Then they'll have to pick themselves up off the floor, because I'll be too exhausted to care anymore.