Alright, I have a lot of thoughts tonight so just go with it for a while. I've come to two realizations today, and I would like to share them with everyone.

Over the past few weeks, I have been angry. For those of you who know me, you also know that I don't ever get angry. I was in my kitchen tonight eating a slice of pizza and reflecting on the last few days. It was then that I realized I have not been a pleasant person. I go to work angry, I leave angry, and I end up snapping at everyone, blaming the management for my bad mood. It was then that I decided that my anger hasn't been at Ruby Tuesday or at the group that left me $4 in change. It is just the next stage. You see, I decided that coping is done in the following stages:

Coping Stage #1: Self-pity
After something traumatic happens, the first reaction is to cry. This is usually because a) someone was wronged, or b) someone has wronged us. No matter what the situation is, we feel some sort of pity for ourselves or for someone else. We come up with scenarios in our heads about what could have been done to prevent it. "What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? How could this happen to me? I can't believe I did that!" This stage can last anywhere from 1-1,000 days.

Coping Stage #2: Anger
Here is the fun stage. Once you get past the fact that whatever happened was never your fault, nor was it done to you personally, you get angry. Why this happens, I haven't figured out yet. Perhaps it's because you realize it is something you couldn't control. If it wasn't your fault, it has to be someone's fault. Then you pick someone to blame. You become angry, wondering how they could have done what they did. You begin to brainstorm all the ways that this person has wronged you. This stage is more dangerous than the first, so beware. It can last a lifetime.

I have decided that it is ok to go through these stages, as long as you get through them. It's when you linger in one stage too long that you start to change your life. Sooner or later you'll become someone that you don't like or recognize. I know, because I was stuck in the first stage for years. I've finally moved out of that stage and into the second one. I'm hoping that I can move through it quickly, because I don't like anger. It's pretty much my least favorite emotion.