I'm sitting here watching the Sound of Music, sipping Bojangle's sweet tea, and remembering what it's like to be content. Lately contentment has been something just out of my reach, but I feel that today I have managed to grasp it. I have spent the entire afternoon and evening by myself, something that normally terrifies me and leaves me extremely anxious and alone. Today, however, I feel at peace. I never really understood why people enjoyed being by themselves, but now I realize the importance of it. It is so easy to get caught up in the world. You can spend hours, days, or months of your life investing time in other things and slowly give pieces of yourself away that you cannot easily get back. That's what I have done. It has been going on for years, until I finally realized I had nothing left to give. I had invested every piece of myself in absolutely nothing, and didn't know how to get them back. I looked everywhere. In books, magazines, relationships, the bottom of a bottle of vodka. It wasn't until I quit looking around and started looking up that I found what was missing. The last few months of my life have been devoted to growing in God and getting to know who I am as a follower of Christ. In order to do that, I have to know myself, love myself, and acknowledge that I'm worth spending time with. That is what today has taught me. I'm sitting here singing along to a movie that I watched and loved as a child. It's bringing back all sorts of memories, and putting a smile on my face. A smile that is so unfamiliar because it hasn't shown itself in what seems like forever. It feels good to be at peace with myself again.